I want a job

[lawlerbation the hardcore squatter]

So ive found an Inbound Customer Service job listing and they are asking for a resume... they want an experienced customer service person for the position.... NOW OBVIOUSLY i have next to none job experience but i want this job

tell me how to bullshit them so they hire me.. i am thinking of putting down 1 long term customer service job and then putting my cellphone for the reference number but im not 100% sure on how to lie

[lawlerbation the hardcore squatter]

CHECK MY RESUME BROS

Code:

Anthony ***********
****************
****************
Home Phone: *********
Email: **********

Education:   Mesa High, Starting courses at Mesa Community this Fall




Work History
Harkins Theatre
Team Member
7/5/2007-16/8/2007
Working concession stand, cleaning theatres, closing, opening, some customer service.


Octopus Garden
Furniture Deliver
30/8/2007-12/2/2008
Unloading 16wheel trucks, stocking the show room, making in-home delivery/setup in-home.


Office Max
Team Member
5/7/2008-8/1/2009
Opening, closing, customer service, sales associate.




Volunteer Experience
In High School our computer department had a class called St.R.U.T. (Students Refurbishing Used Technology) where we repaired and dismantled old and used computers for charity. I took this class two times and thoroughly enjoyed learning hands on.

because obviously no one would hire me with this shitty shit so help me make a false one that seems real and awesome

[Crazy Diana]

you forgot to mention your 80 shaman/hunter

[Sharfalma]

Lawler you are missing several large chunks of a good resume, including position objective, skills, and related experience. If you're work experience is lacking, don't make it front and center. You need to mask it with a lot of other fun facts that make them think you are a well rounded person. Also, if the job is customer service you need to emphasize the customer service aspect of all of your jobs. The home delivery and installation job you have listed is a great way to demonstrate your people skills. Talk about that one in detail, that you were in actual people's homes, working with them to install and troubleshoot their products. That'd be a really good point to hit. Here is the resume I used to get my apprenticeship as a game designer, if it helps. You can copy the template if you think it would work for you. Obviously the formatting and font/text style are different in the actual resume.

Sharfalma, Night Elf Priest of the Scilla Alliance
(Address Here)
Home- ********
Cell- ******
Email- *****

Position Objective:

I am seeking a full-time position as a Writer for Simutronics Corporation, where I may utilize my creative and humorous writing, team-oriented communication abilities, and analytical thinking skills.

Skills:

Knowledge of Game Design tools Proficient writer, both Fictional and Instructive
Adaptive mindset and attitude Swift analytical skills
Excellent communicator and listener Professional leadership experience
Concept and understanding of Game Industry Receptive to constructive criticism

Education:

Sanford Brown College St. Peters, MO Game Design, with honors March 2008

Warrenton Senior High Warrenton, MO GED, with academic honors May 2006

Work Experience:

Wal-Mart Corporation August 2004 – Current
Warrenton, MO

Salary History:

Introductory Salary- Hourly: $5.15 Current Salary- Hourly: $12.20

Various Positions:

Courtesy Associate- Communicated with customers
in order to fulfill their needs within the store.
-Received Quarterly Award for Customer Service
while holding this position.

Cashier- Provided excellent customer service while
efficiently ringing up items and tendering transactions.

Electronics Associate- Offered advice and knowledge
about various electronic devices, including gaming systems.
Managed game cases, providing in-depth demonstrations
For Super Mario Galaxy and other Wii and Nintendo DS
games for potential customers.

Other Related Experience:

Torque Game Engine- 2007 – Current
-Over one year experience working extensively with
Torque, including Constructor, World Editor, and
programming language

3DS Studio Max- 2007 – Current
-Two years experience working with basic 3DS tools
including modeling, texturing, and exporting

Microsoft Office-
-Educated in and proficient at using programs such 2007 – Current
as Word, Excel, and PowerPoint.

Yearbook Club- Warrenton High School 2005 – 2006
-Designed, constructed, and published various
pages of the Warrenton High 2006 yearbook

Lead Designer- Sanford Brown Design Classes 2006 – 2008
-Selected by Game Design Chairman to lead a 17
member team towards the completion of a game title

Guild Leader/Team Captain- Various online communities 2003 – Current
-Through both personal assertion and team based
promotion, successfully maintained over half a
dozen online communities, including a self made
RPG group and a World of Warcraft guild

Interests:

Gaming, both cooperative and competitive Creative writing
Social debates and discussions Science fiction in all its mediums
Cumulative success aided by personal achievements Conceptual art and design
Popular Culture, comedy, and internet memes Reality Television


References:

References are available upon request.

[Fuman]

Does anybody else think putting lawler at the receiving end of a dumbass disgruntled customer is a bad idea?

[Nouhstekehue]

Every call center needs at least one person who will smack down the fucking jackasses that run up calls stats because their marriage is falling apart.

I'm fucking serious.






You don't even know.

[ArchmageFurly in three days]

Every call center needs at least one person who will smack down the fucking jackasses that run up calls stats because their marriage is falling apart.

I'm fucking serious.






You don't even know.

I love you with all my heart and soul steke.

[Lorake]

Every call center needs at least one person who will smack down the fucking jackasses that run up calls stats because their marriage is falling apart.

I'm fucking serious.






You don't even know.

O I do know, Steke, but neither you or me will ever amass to Roj level of knowledge.

[Archlight]

what happened to blood and semen

[lawlerbation the hardcore squatter]

what happened to blood and semen

it be came way to much of a hassle to go there every week for the measly 40 bucks