12-21-2009, 05:56 PM
#10: The Gearscore checker
This is the guy who instead of hitting mobs in an instance as dps is spastically looking at wow-heroes, updating the armory as fast as he can. Loudly declares to the group that in fact, he has a better gearscore than the rest of you and should be listened to in every situation. Possibly might be doing more damage than the rest of the people in the instance, but is only actually in the instance 20% of the time. Boot as soon as possible.
#9: The "I can't do this"
Usually a healer as DPS are expected to be mindless, but sometimes a tank. As soon as an instance with any degree of difficulty is loaded, (Oculus, AN, ICC instances, ToC) the "I can't do this" immediately proclaims "Don't have the gear for this, sorry" and leaves group. Is always geared enough for the instance, but possesses no degree of skill whatsoever. You could boot them, but their shame usually makes them leave before you can.
#8: The guy who did this a million times before and never had a problem with it
You all know who this guy is. He's the one tanking Bronjahm next to the soul fragments so they heal him 13 times in a row, or doesn't stand behind the saronite boulders until he gets 40 stacks of freezing ice and dies. He stands in the ghoul explosions in ToC, underneath Marrowgar, and in the fires on Goremok, but he never had a problem with it before. Declares this very loudly and repeatedly, despite obviously having no clue what to do in the encounter. Usually reverts to #10, and starts chanting his gear score repeatedly as proof of his knowledge.
#7: The dps who knows exactly what to do, but doesn't
This is the person who acts really confused when he chains off a 10k howling blast in the middle of 20 mobs and dies instantly, or stands in a whirlwind and demands heals, usually while standing in it. Will usually blame the healer after taking prodigious amounts of avoidable damage that should never be taken in the first place. Is often dead, refuses to run back, and instead asks for a rez. Should be booted at earliest convienience.
#6: MANA!
This is the healer that doesn't quite understand how instances work, or that they can in fact use things to regenerate their mana, such as abilities and drinks. Follows the tank around like a lost puppy and talks with one finger. Slowly types out N-e-e-d t-o d-r-i-n-k while not drinking, holding up every pull. Will usually crack in any pressure situation and leave group in shame. Constantly has to be reminded that they can, in fact, drink between pulls, and must be encouraged to do so.
#5: I'm not really sure what my abilities do...
These folks are the lost. The ones who have somehow managed to get to level 80 without actually looking at any of their abilities. These are the 70 point affliction warlocks or full BM hunters that mysteriously never actually use Haunt, Unstable affliction, or Bestial wrath. Usually have talent trees that are mishmash and horrible to look at. Usually pulling under 1k dps, or seen casting incomprehensible spells at the worst times.
#4: ... I had what ability?
People who, mysteriously, have levelled to 80 and don't actually know what abilities they HAVE. Usually a healer, usually when asked where certain things are. Things include such important spells as Abolish Disease, Divine Plea, Cleansing Totem, or Innervate. When asked why they are not using these important spells, generally stony silence or a quick group quit happens.
#3: This isn't how I do it on my main!
Ah, these guys. They do everything different, whether you are tanking or healing or just straight damage, they've done it better, and they do it completely different than you do. Never mind the fact that right now, they're doing what they're supposed to be doing terribly, they're just on an alt and don't really care, but you should listen to them, because they're in a top 50 guild in the world, and their advice should be listened to. Should be removed at the earliest possibility.
#2: Wow Life Coaches/ Touch Typers
Even though they're playing on their hunter, have one of you on autofollow and have 80% autoshot damage, these fellows decide to teach you everything about the game so that you can learn as you play. Usually a healer, this person decides to fill the void between heals with witty commentary about how the game should be played, usually resulting in someone's death immediately after. Is always baffled as to how exactly that happened while they were typing, there really shouldn't have been that much damage going out on a pull. They will go on to describe exactly what the mobs in that pull were doing by pulling out recount records. Knows exactly what everything does and is, just not how to play the game or how to react to it.
#1: The Entitled Prick
Probably fitting into at least 3 of these categories, the entitled prick can be seen pulling random mobs around, coaching players on exactly how bad they are, all while doing terrible dps, a horrible job in tanking, or a lacklustre job in healing. May also be your best dps, but is usually dead because he disregards any part of encounters other than his recount numbers. Links dps meters constantly. If he dies, the healer is to blame. No questions asked. If he was crushed by a saronite boulder, his health should've been maxed. Usually is able to heal or prevent damage, but never does. Nothing is his fault, you should've been doing a better job to prevent his death. You don't want to remove him because he's actually semi-competent, but he's just so much of an assbag that you really have to.
This is the guy who instead of hitting mobs in an instance as dps is spastically looking at wow-heroes, updating the armory as fast as he can. Loudly declares to the group that in fact, he has a better gearscore than the rest of you and should be listened to in every situation. Possibly might be doing more damage than the rest of the people in the instance, but is only actually in the instance 20% of the time. Boot as soon as possible.
#9: The "I can't do this"
Usually a healer as DPS are expected to be mindless, but sometimes a tank. As soon as an instance with any degree of difficulty is loaded, (Oculus, AN, ICC instances, ToC) the "I can't do this" immediately proclaims "Don't have the gear for this, sorry" and leaves group. Is always geared enough for the instance, but possesses no degree of skill whatsoever. You could boot them, but their shame usually makes them leave before you can.
#8: The guy who did this a million times before and never had a problem with it
You all know who this guy is. He's the one tanking Bronjahm next to the soul fragments so they heal him 13 times in a row, or doesn't stand behind the saronite boulders until he gets 40 stacks of freezing ice and dies. He stands in the ghoul explosions in ToC, underneath Marrowgar, and in the fires on Goremok, but he never had a problem with it before. Declares this very loudly and repeatedly, despite obviously having no clue what to do in the encounter. Usually reverts to #10, and starts chanting his gear score repeatedly as proof of his knowledge.
#7: The dps who knows exactly what to do, but doesn't
This is the person who acts really confused when he chains off a 10k howling blast in the middle of 20 mobs and dies instantly, or stands in a whirlwind and demands heals, usually while standing in it. Will usually blame the healer after taking prodigious amounts of avoidable damage that should never be taken in the first place. Is often dead, refuses to run back, and instead asks for a rez. Should be booted at earliest convienience.
#6: MANA!
This is the healer that doesn't quite understand how instances work, or that they can in fact use things to regenerate their mana, such as abilities and drinks. Follows the tank around like a lost puppy and talks with one finger. Slowly types out N-e-e-d t-o d-r-i-n-k while not drinking, holding up every pull. Will usually crack in any pressure situation and leave group in shame. Constantly has to be reminded that they can, in fact, drink between pulls, and must be encouraged to do so.
#5: I'm not really sure what my abilities do...
These folks are the lost. The ones who have somehow managed to get to level 80 without actually looking at any of their abilities. These are the 70 point affliction warlocks or full BM hunters that mysteriously never actually use Haunt, Unstable affliction, or Bestial wrath. Usually have talent trees that are mishmash and horrible to look at. Usually pulling under 1k dps, or seen casting incomprehensible spells at the worst times.
#4: ... I had what ability?
People who, mysteriously, have levelled to 80 and don't actually know what abilities they HAVE. Usually a healer, usually when asked where certain things are. Things include such important spells as Abolish Disease, Divine Plea, Cleansing Totem, or Innervate. When asked why they are not using these important spells, generally stony silence or a quick group quit happens.
#3: This isn't how I do it on my main!
Ah, these guys. They do everything different, whether you are tanking or healing or just straight damage, they've done it better, and they do it completely different than you do. Never mind the fact that right now, they're doing what they're supposed to be doing terribly, they're just on an alt and don't really care, but you should listen to them, because they're in a top 50 guild in the world, and their advice should be listened to. Should be removed at the earliest possibility.
#2: Wow Life Coaches/ Touch Typers
Even though they're playing on their hunter, have one of you on autofollow and have 80% autoshot damage, these fellows decide to teach you everything about the game so that you can learn as you play. Usually a healer, this person decides to fill the void between heals with witty commentary about how the game should be played, usually resulting in someone's death immediately after. Is always baffled as to how exactly that happened while they were typing, there really shouldn't have been that much damage going out on a pull. They will go on to describe exactly what the mobs in that pull were doing by pulling out recount records. Knows exactly what everything does and is, just not how to play the game or how to react to it.
#1: The Entitled Prick
Probably fitting into at least 3 of these categories, the entitled prick can be seen pulling random mobs around, coaching players on exactly how bad they are, all while doing terrible dps, a horrible job in tanking, or a lacklustre job in healing. May also be your best dps, but is usually dead because he disregards any part of encounters other than his recount numbers. Links dps meters constantly. If he dies, the healer is to blame. No questions asked. If he was crushed by a saronite boulder, his health should've been maxed. Usually is able to heal or prevent damage, but never does. Nothing is his fault, you should've been doing a better job to prevent his death. You don't want to remove him because he's actually semi-competent, but he's just so much of an assbag that you really have to.
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