WLPH DATE ADVICE?

[Firecrest]

I found a woman for you, Tony.

Have fond memories of eating SpaghettiOs as a kid? Better prepare to have another chunk of your childhood innocence crushed into a fine powder. Seems the canned pasta makes an appearance in Octomom's very first porno, which she began filming late last week.

A source tells the Huffington Post that during the shoot, desperate-for-cash human incubator Nadya Suleman posed for photos covered in the round, tomato-coated carb.

"For the pictures, we had her topless with a thick sparkly red choker with a big red heart in front and red and white polka dot panties ... like 1950s style," explains the spy. "SpaghettiOs were all over her body, and she's even throwing the SpaghettiOs toward the camera. The label on the can was changed from SpaghettiOs to say 'Saucy Octos.'"



By all means, take a moment to say a fond farewell to all types of pasta, which you likely will never crave again now that the phrase "Saucy Octos" has been burned into your brain.

As for Suleman's onanistic X-rated debut, TMZ says she overcame her initial nervousness after chitchatting with some other porn performers who were on hand (unintentional pun, but we're leaving it) for her on-camera self-gratification. She also watched some sample flicks for inspiration.

"She was a natural," says an insider. "She looked great!!"

Octomom herself believes she's really mastered the genre.

"My first shoot was amazing," the mother of 14 tells HuffPo's Naughty But Nice Rob. "Such a learning experience for me in so many ways. I don't think I could have asked for a better crew to work with. They were so patient and willing to teach me. ... They made me look so glamorous, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful and sexy. I'm very excited for it to come out!"

The bankrupt Suleman reportedly plans to use the cash from her one-woman porn (out mid-June -- mark your calendars!) to buy her brood a bigger house. And hopefully some therapy.